From the Heart of Sally G.

Drum roll please ...

Sally g. — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:23:31 GMT

Well, here it is -- my first Video Blog.

I've titled it Just Begin ~ or how I kicked Fear to the curb. The back-story on it is at my SpinningWithSpirit site too.

So ~ here I am in all my goofy glory! And as I note in the clip ... I've now moved past the paralysis that comes with launching something for the first time - which has weakened Fear a bit and strengthened me more.

I'll be posting in both locations -- though the blog posts won't always be the same.

I'd love it if you'd Follow me in both locations - in fact, I'd REALLY love it if you could. Thanks so much to Writergrrl, Jen, Laurie, JessicaLee, Annie, MoM and Rosemary for already signing up!

If I'm not here at PNN, then you'll like find me here at SpinningWithSpirit.com

Or here, on twitter.

Enjoy!!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder ...

Sally g. — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:18:57 GMT

Hi everyone! I've been keeping up with blog reading and comment leaving - but it's been ages since I've written anything on my own page.

At the start of the month, I started participating in the NaNoWriMo challenge. I've since taken a bit of a detour and haven't actually been back to 'my book' in three days. One of those, "A funny thing happened on the way to my writing career" stories.

The heroine of my story and I seem to have quite a bit in common. And all in all, she's been pretty good company - at times insightful, at times confused, and at times funny and/or witty. We made it all the way to 7,000+ words together - and then, she abandoned ship; decided that this was not the way she desired to be introduced to the world. And just like that - progress ground to a halt.

That's the good news. Here's the great news ... she's leading me in an entirely new direction - not in the book, but in real life. She's triggered synchronicities (meaningful coincidences) that all support her belief that I need to hurl myself from this comfortable life I've created to this point and venture out into the world with my Self -- the one who holds my unique gifts and offerings, the one who has been sitting quietly behind a closed door for more than 40 years, the one who insists that as good and giving as I try to be ~ there's still much more to be done; much, much more to be done.

This week, I've listened to podcasts on allowing your creativity to express on its own, uninhibited by fear, doubt, limited thinking and insecurity. I've purchased a domain name and am struggling with the learning curve creating a website presents. I've attended a webcast on creating video blogs. And I've bookmarked blogtalkradio.com because I feel a need to know how to use this media too.

In short, I'm gearing up to put myself out there as Sally G. - Spirit Sleuth ... and I'm as excited as I am scared.

My book's heroine is not lost, nor do I have any plans to kill her off. Her story will be told - perhaps by November 30th, perhaps sometime after that. And I'm not sure if she'll show up in the realm of fiction or in some other format. She'll emerge when it's time, and while it's not my style (up until now) to relax into not knowing - I'm learning that it appears to be the only way to freak out my mind to the point of paralysis ... and while it's in that state, it's not getting in the way with details that would send me back to the world of 'no way, I can't do this'.

Truth be told, if I try and fail - what have I really lost? Time. That's all, just time. And while that is a finite commodity - it's one I'm willing to invest right now, because the investment may lead to meaning, significance and fulfillment beyond imagining.

So, that's where I've been this last week or so. How are all of you doing?

Today, I am an Autumn tree ...

Sally g. — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:03:12 GMT

While looking at the world around me, I like to zoom in on certain 'scenes' and look for ways that they parallel my life or 'personal growth' at the time.

I've been participating in Brene Brown's 5 Week Authenticity Workshop - and those of us participating are now in our 5th and final week. The process has been worth every moment of time invested and I've enjoyed learning to make authenticity a daily practice, committing to cultivating emotional courage, nurturing true and honest connection with others and travelling with a whole-hearted beleif that grace, joy and gratitude are all qualities we're entitled to and not rewards randomly passed around at the whim of others.

Based on the comments that have been made over the last 5 weeks via the Comment Boxes ~ this experience has touched us all in different ways, though we seem quite united in our appreciation for the process as a whole.

And as I sit with the question that, for me, always follows experiences like this - as I contemplate the "Wow, that was awesome -- now what?" ... I find myself falling back on my pattern of observing all that is around me in search of something that will mirror back the way I feel.

Today, I have decided that I feel like a tree in Autumn. A deciduous tree that stands in glorious, colourful majesty.

An Autumn tree that is fully aware that its work in the past two seasons is now done and that it has earned the right to be thanked for its past achievements, admired for the radiance and brilliant hues that signal it is time to welcome a new season - one that will require rest and self-nurture and time to prepare for its re-emergence anew in Spring - and accepted for what it now must do to sustain itself and ensure that it is always ready to do what it is on this earth to do.

An Autumn tree doesn't fret and wonder if it's going to be okay with everyone else if it allows the diminishng sunlight and cooler night-time temperatures to change the colour of its leaves.

An Autumn tree doesn't clutch and grasp at its leaves, fearful that letting them gently spiral to the ground is somehow a failure and representative of an inability to master its craft.

An Autumn tree doesn't lament the leaving of birds and creatures who've sheltered and nested within it over the past two seasons - and take their migration and/or hibernation as a personal reflection of its own ability and worth.

An Autumn tree stands majestically in all its wondrous glory - a symbol that time passes, functions change, roots are deep and authentic wonder is simply programmed into its DNA.

An Autumn tree is an Autumn tree no matter who stops to notice it, no matter what comments are made about it, no matter what's going on in the world around it - it is what it is. And it requires no validation, recognition or permission to fully serve its purpose - season after season, storm after storm, sunset after sunset.

Today, I am an Autumn tree. A deciduous Autumn tree with colour and splendour. And as I look around me ~ I see many Autumn trees on my path.

Enjoy the crunch of our leaves beneath your feet as you pass our way ~ they are symbols of past accomplishments that have gotten us where we are today ... and hearing them sound as you walk by is like music to our ears.

As we all head into the season of rest and nurture ~ think about what you might release in gentle spirals in preparation for your re-emergence when the Winter of your personal soul-searching has passed.

And know that whatever you choose requires validation and permission from no one but your Self, because choices that grow from authentic roots always serve the best interests of everyone involved ...

Dare to wish, then - to dream ...

Sally g. — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:18:38 GMT

In a comment thread yesterday - I discovered that I may not be alone in my inability to conjure up 'a dream'. This came up in the context of 'what is preventing you from feeling worthy, enough ... authentic.

It's funny how you can go along through life - happy, mastering all that you do, making the most of all circumstances that present themselves to you, maximizing opportunities and spinning challenges ~ and then, suddenly be struck with the realization that a key element to most people's 'success' -- dreams and life goals -- eludes you.

This realization became impossible to deny part-way through the year 2008. It just so happened that I'd read a string of books, quite by 'accident', that all held the key plot line of the main characters overcoming obstacles to achieve their dreams.

And even then, I could rally with the heros and heroines and not fully connect the dots to my own life ~ I am a cheerleader at heart, after all.

This truth became truly impossible to deny after reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. This book is packed with wisdom and truth that we're all quite aware of, they've travelled well through time. But it also was a testament to the power of imagining a possibility, holding that possibility as a vision, and then chanelling focused energy to ensuring that the dreams will materialize as long as effort and awareness are applied.

On the one hand, I loved this book. On the other hand - it left me feeling very sad and empty. Less than, in many ways.

It was not something that could be readily discussed - few understand the fact that you have no dreams. And even in the light of this, you still can't come up with one - not even one - regardless of the effort you put towards it.

My husband spoke to the root issue, as he's so awesome at doing. "You have dreams. Of course you have dreams. Everyone has dreams. Not all dreams are bright and red and shiny with lit up 'look at me' signs so the world takes notice. You've accomplished a lot - you have nothing to feel sad about."

To me - accomplishing a lot and having a dream in your mind's eye are two different things. Though, there is every chance I've let the semantics of language mess with my head and distort something small to a deep issue that has already been given more energy than it's worth.

I learned from this and have for sure moved on -- but the nagging desire to have a dream that invigorates me and allows me to map my days with clear direction still lingers.

So ~ here's my plan for now. Today's post is for all of us to share a wish - and there are no rules for wishing ... make it as extravagant or as simple as you desire - as long as it reflects a true desire.

Leave your wish in the Comment section below ~ and then those of us who read your wish can then right click on your avatar (select 'open in new tab' so you don't leave this page), go to your site page, and send you a private message via the Contact icon with words of support for your wish.

"I honour and respect your wish for _____ this week, and I am sending you my whole-hearted support with this message ... may your wish come true in a way that you recognize, because you are worthy enough for this to be so." (Feel free to copy and paste this message if you're not sure what to write on your own.)

Let's all be Fairy Godmothers and help each other feel that our wishes are not out of the realm of possibility ~ while also allowing us to feel magical with all the caring and support that surrounds us here at pnn.

What do you wish for this week?

Let the magic begin ...

'Lime Tree' makes Top 10 New Novels List!

Sally g. — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:25:30 GMT

Earlier this week, Lime Tree Can't Bear Orange was picked as one of ten Best Debut novels for 2009 by Booklist Online!

This is very exciting news for Amanda Smyth (Lime Tree's author), can you even imagine how that might feel? I'm so grateful that she'll actually be joining us here at pnn.com next Sunday for our online book club event!

So on that note, this is your one week until our online Book Club gathering friendly reminder ... next Sunday October 25th (at 11:30am PT / 2:30pm EST / 7:30pm in the U.K.),

Amanda Smyth will be joining Diva and I for a discussion about Lime Tree Can't Bear Orange, here in the live chat room at pnn.com The link will be posted in advance of the event - and we plan to gather for one hour.

I've listed potential discussion questions below ~ and I invite you to please use the Comments box to leave questions or discussion topics you'd like to see covered during our gathering.

Finally, please feel free to congratulate Amanda in the comments area below ~ this has got to be a very exciting time for her and gosh, how lucky we are that she'll be making time in her schedule to join us in the book's discussion!

Here are potential discussion questions:

Did you like Celia?

Who was your favourite character in the book?

If you were to sum up the way you felt about the book when you finished reading it in one word - what would that one word be? (This is where my friend and I differed.)

How do you think the story actually ends - after we walk away, when the future, for the characters, continues to unfold?

If Celia were to suddenly show up on pnn.com with her story ~ would you feel the same towards her here as you do in the pages of the book?

Who, in the book, do you think would benefit most from participating in the Authenticity Workshop that is presently running here at pnn.com under Brene Brown's leadership?

What do you think the title of the book means - and does it reflect a message contained within the story? (As an aside, the book was originally titled Black Rock - and is called that in some countries. I believe it was changed to Lime Tree Can't Bear Orange here in North America because a corporation had the rights to the name Black Rock already.)

And one last thing: Two fabulous PNN Community Members are vying for the position of Good Mood Blogger at another site. To make it to the second round of applicant consideration - they need to be in the Top 20 with regards to Vote Count.

Please, take a moment to right click on each of their names (and select Open in New Tab so you don't leave this page) and give them a Vote. You don't have to register or leave any sort of personal information to do so. And making it to Round 2 will mean the world to them both. Thank you!! Writergrrl Tragicomical/Roberta

Gratitude and Thanks this Thanksgiving ...

Sally g. — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:32:11 GMT

It's Thanksgiving in Canada this weekend - a perfect time to reflect upon all for which we're grateful and thankful.

This year, I'm grateful for everyone and every situation that supported me, sustained me, made me laugh out loud, affected me enough to inspire blog posts and journal entries, kept me grounded, reminded me I had wings, awed me to silence and made my heart sing. And I am lucky enough to have an abundance of all of this in my life on an ongoing basis.

I'm also thankful for everyone and every situation that presented as struggle, challenge, hurt, disrespect, confusion, unkindness and strife - for it is here that I learned my greatest lessons, found my greatest strengths, practiced my most desirable traits and qualities, and helped me find my confidence and courage.

While I'm not always happy about it, the Universe always responds to my desires for greater peace, understanding, harmony, health and love in ways other than I'd prefer to receive them. These feelings don't magically manifest within me, allowing me to wake up one morning fully enlightened. That's how I'd like it to happen.

No, instead, someone or some situation will show up - inspiring me to feel the exact opposite of the state I most desire to feel ... thus allowing me, if I so choose, to approach the person or circumstance with my desired state as the end goal -- or to react to it as I generally have, with anger, frustration, withdrawal, etc.

Changing the way I see what is before me - as opportunities to reach my desired way of being - has helped me immensely in life, and is a path I still walk with courage every day.

And for this reason - my challenges, adversities and speedbumps are very high on my list of things for which I'm most thankful. For without them in my life, I would never have seen the underlying perfection of the Universe ... and the wondrous capacity for enlightened living wthin my Self.

We are all 'perfect' you know ~ because whatever we're working through is exactly where we need to be on this ongoing journey of creating ourselves in the grandest version of the greatest vision we're capable of imagining.

This Thanksgivng - I am grateful for you all ... many blessings ...

Lunch with Buddha

Sally g. — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 21:16:18 GMT

Today, I had lunch in the Tea Room of my local Buddha Temple.This was a new experience for me ~ and I loved it.

I was invited by a friend who 'discovered' this Tea Room several years ago. As we sat at our table, sun warming us through the window, I listened in admiration as she said, "I just walked in - I figured I'd spent long enough wondering what it looked like inside."

It had never occurred to me that I could just walk into a Buddha Temple. I mean, wow - to have the courage to just follow an impulse because you desire to know more about something without it ever occurring to you that you don't belong - I can't even imagine what that would feel like! But thank goodness she did.

This temple has majestically graced my
neighbourhood since 1997. It almost seems out of place, so quiet and beautiful, surrounded by manufacturing plants and office units.

My former Dentist ran his practice in a unit immediately behind this temple. My two children attended a Nursery/Pre-School immediately to its left. More than once I'd looked at it and wondered 'who goes there?', 'what's it like inside?', 'would I feel peace immediately upon entering?'

I was really looking forward to this adventure - I mean, for most ~ lunch in a Tea Room wouldn't rank in the Adventure category ... but Buddhism has intrigued me for years ~ I follow the Dalai Lama on twitter for goodness sake! (And get this - the Dalai Lama also FOLLOWS ME!!)

Imagine enlightening the Self to a place where there is no anger and you truly embody the sentiment that "You can only lose what you cling to." Is it any wonder that I climbed the steps with mounting anticipation and a knowing that I was about to experience something for which I was going to leave feeling really, really grateful?

The Temple was breath-taking. The kindness and respect was palpable - the fact that their doors are always open, the greeting is so warm and genuine, the hospitality so immediate and pure ... I could have just wrapped myself in the powerful wonder and sat there all day.

The Temple itself is beyond words. You must take your shoes off to enter this sacred space. There are mats piled up against the outer walls for people to sit on, anywhere they like, to sit and admire, meditate, pray, whatever. While we were in there, two others were there too.

One was having a very private moment near the front - he stood before the 5 large, gold, Buddha statues, leaned his elbows on the alter and just seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

The other was sitting on a stack of square mats, eyes closed, hands on his thighs - meditating, or simply - being still.

We did not stay in the Temple itself for very long. In fact, it's the very last thing we did before leaving ~ how grateful I am to have been there though. To have sat there, feeling the lovely weight of peace and stillness in the complete absence of Time. I think that might be the best way to describe it -- there was no sense of Time. Nowhere else I felt I needed to be. It was rare - and wonderful.

Before going to the Tea Room, you must first purchase lunch tickets - that's what they call them ... what they look like is 2" x 3" pieces of laminated art. Lunch is one price - regardless of what you order from the menu. $7 per person. And the menu is Vegetarian.

My friend treated - this day just kept getting better and better.

We were the first customers to arrive - and the welcome was so special and humbling. We chose a table by the window. And we were served by the lovliest man.

We selected a pot of tea from an extensive list of teas I had never heard of. Tangerine. More on this in a bit ~ but if you ever get the chance to experience Tangerine Tea ... do it.

We then placed our meal orders - Noodles and Vegetable Soup ... and believe me, it's not as boring as it sounds. As our waiter was leaving the table, with great embarrassment he told us that because we'd ordered 3 items, we actually needed 3 tickets. To be treated with such respect was refreshing. I immediately jumped up and told him I'd purchase an additional 'lunch ticket' ~ and his appreciation and further discomfort for putting us in this position was incredibly special.

Our 'soup' was the most delicious I've ever had. Fresh noodles, THINLY sliced carrots, bok choy, sesame paste and the most delicious broth I've EVER had in my life .. Heaven in a bowl, no joke.

Chopsticks were delivered with the meal - and my friend launched right in. "Don't worry, you can eat messy here -- the point is to enjoy the food. Bite off the noodles at the point where you've got enough in your mouth."

Again, I admired her. Having only spent two weeks in the Authenticity Workshop with Brene Brown so far -- I simply could not fathom EVER freeing myself to this experience in that way -- and so I ate the noodles and vegetables as best I could with a fork (no knife was present) ... and then ladled up the broth with a really beautiful soup spoon.

And the Tangerine Tea ... I've read poems that speak to Nectar of the Gods ~ and always tried to imagine how exactly that would taste. Today, I found out. I don't think I can state it any better than that.

My friend and I both studied the tea ingredients in the brewing area of the teapot -- and while we recognized the tangerine rinds -- we're not exactly sure what else was in there ... but gosh ~ Heaven in a Teacup.

After lunch, we went upstairs and browsed through their Library. Yes, they lend their books out to the general public and trust that the books will be returned. One wall is dedicated to books printed in English. Fascinating reading is offered in this room.

We then walked through a hallway that serves as a Museum with beautiful idols and paintings and write-ups in a language other than English ... but how grateful I was to even be trusted to browse there, without supervision -- in trust.

And while leaving, I was gifted with two cds -- one on the Core Ideas of Buddhism, the other with topics like The Beauty of Being Natural, Understanding Time, and The Value of Travel.

Two weeks ago, I may not have made time in my day for something like this ... I would have felt guilty because it wasn't 'work', it was not an opportunity to generate income for the family -- in short, it did not fit in the scheme of what I 'should' be doing.

So it is with infinite gratitude and appreciation that I sit here right now, with a candle burning at my right and a glass of red wine sitting at my left ~ having lived an experience I will always remember ... and will very likely - repeat.

Dear nagging little voice inside my head,

Sally g. — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:10:19 GMT

Dear nagging, little voice inside my head,

This letter to you is long overdue.

I'm not exactly sure when you chose me as the vessel in which to build your soap box, dedicating your time in a running monologue intended to ensure I don't do anything 'wrong', or 'stupid', or 'out of character'.

I'm not even sure whose 'character' you have decided I must play in this fear-fraught, long-running, drama that you're directing as my life.

More importantly though - why has it not occurred to me until now to even engage with you, to let you know that while you might have served a valid purpose at one time - you no longer do?

You see, your beliefs are out-dated. I'm not entirely sure which version of my Self you have me locked into ~ I've changed lots over the 4.5 decades of my life; I've learned a few things. And in so doing, I now respectfully ask you to relinquish all power and report directly to my inner wisdom as there is more constructive uses for your abilities.

I've learned that risk-taking, in and of itself, is not a scary thing - it is actually a dynamic spark that ignites the moment I'm willing to step outside of my comfort zone and challenge the next aspect of my development to step forth and lift me to greater heights.

Risk-taking without Awareness, without Honesty and without Responsibility - well, that does push risk-taking into the realm of scary. But I don't do that. So, I'm now officially a risk-taker - when it suits me.

I've learned that not having all the answers right away is not a sign of mental impairment. There is nothing wrong with not knowing something - in fact, as crazy as this sounds -- I'm quite excited about finally saying out loud, "I know so little - but what I do know, I know well ~ and what I don't know, I'm capable enough and resourceful enough to find out".

Honestly, ingenuity gaps abound - who DOES know everything? And if I stopped still at knowing the everything that I know ... at which point in my life history would I be rooted as the world passed me by at rapid speed, decreasing my significance with each spin? (Well, it would likely be the 70's if my musical preference is any clue - but that's besides the point. It was actually a rhetorical question.)

I've learned that, when parts of my true Self slipped out - like when I didn't know someone was looking, or spontaneously before thought kicked in - people liked me anyway. In fact, they seemed to like me more ... because it gave them a glimpse into the human being that glowed beneath the carefully constructed surface - you know, that crafted veneer you helped me keep in place with your nagging little reminders in your nagging little voice.

I could go on, but really, what would be the point? When something is over, it's simply over - and debate is non-productive.

I walk with Awareness now - I've been doing so for some time, and I've gotten to the point that I can feel your voice about to speak before you actually do. If I'm capable of that, then I'm capable of ignoring you all together. But that would be rude. And in spite of your many words to the contrary - nothing I have ever said has been motivated by a desire to be rude.

I remain Honest with my Self - and this time, I'm doing it with clear vision, without filters or distortions from the past, but with updated information and awareness. Which means, I no longer have to respond to situations in the way I did before I knew what I know now ... I can choose to respond with all the Power I hold within me, in the moment the experience takes place. Tough concept to wrap your head around, I know -- that rearview mirror is limited in its ability to help you drive my life.

You had to have seen this coming. Every moment of every day that I strengthened mindful, present, awareness living ~ your voice diminished in kind. I see a place for you in my future though - having an inner alarm bell that senses danger from a pure place unpolluted by irrational fear is critical to survival. Letting me know that something just doesn't feel right about a person or venture I'm about to engage with would serve us both rather well.

The job is yours if you're interested. I hope you are - we've been together so long, it would be nice to partner in a more positive way. And I'm someone that's quite fun to be around, on a good day - and best to leave on my own on a not-so-good day, but they are becoming fewer and farther between ... and my efficiency rate is accelerating in the areas of bounce-back and recovery.

Your purpose as it once existed, for me, is done. Thank you for the lessons I could only have learned from your presence in my life - and may your next career as my inner-alarm bell be a rousing, though seldom needed, success.

Namaste ...

What are you reading right now?

Sally g. — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:16:21 GMT

Gosh, this week has passed by quickly! Here it is, Friday afternoon already - and I'm finally about to sit down and read a book that I've been wanting to get to all week.

It's called When Everything Changes, Change Everything and it's written by Neale Donald Walsch. I think it's pretty revelant material in today's times ~ and I always seem to connect immediately with Walsch's books.

I'm also half-way through Lime Trees Can't Bear Orange by Amanda Smyth. We're about to have an online book discussion on this book - and Amanda Smyth will be joining us from Ireland!! I'll post information about that tomorrow.

This book is written in a very friendly style - and I'm quite enjoying it so far.

So - I've lit candles, poured tea into my beautiful PNN mug ... and I'm going to sink myself into When Everything Changes, Change Everything for the 45 minutes or so that are all mine until my daughters get home from school.

What are you reading right now?

Let's hear it for Leigh!!

Sally g. — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:42:19 GMT

The world is full of unsung heros and heroines. Men and women who quietly go about the business of making the world we live and operate in a better place in a myriad of different ways.

I came upon two quotes in my email Inbox this morning - and both made me think of one such person: our very own Leigh, President, Heart and Soul of PNN.

I can no longer count the number of times I read words like these in comment boxes throughout this community, "I've been to other social sites/online communities - but never one like this."

Or this, "I've been blogging for some time now and never have I received the response, feedback and support from others as I do here."

I've been here eight months now - and the compassion, the love, the support, the caring, the intelligence, the creativity, the humour, the wisdom, the information -- the all of it - all populating this community in abundance, never ceases to amaze and inspire me.

And it got me to thinking ~ I've never met Leigh ... but if I did, I'd know her in an instant, and I'd feel like I've known her forever -- because for the last 8 months I believe I have.

I'd bet money that she's created a community in her likeness. With vision and passion she has created an environment in which so many of us now dare to share (where once we may have feared to share), dare to risk (where once we may hve feared to risk), dare to ask (where once we may have feared to ask), and dare to extend support (where once we may have feared to extend ourselves for another).

How many of us now find PNN Girl's Night Outs to be amongst the highlights of each month? I know I do. Carving out two hours of my month for the nourishment of my spirit has been really good for me.

The laughter, the connections I'm making with so many awesome women, the recognition and support that I can give to those who have inspired or humbled or awed me in the weeks leading up to the event itself. The fact that I can have such a remarkable time in the comfort of my own home -- heavens, I'd pay for that!

And the prizes - they're as beautiful as they are generous, for Leigh sources out local artists and vendors and even allows members of this community to put forth their creations for the exposure it brings. I was nervous putting an Angel Card Reading onto the Prize table earlier this month - what if nobody wanted it? Well, thank goodness I did - reading all the comments leading up to the recipient announcement really helped my own confidence and esteem and I thank you all so much for that.

And let's not forget how excited she was when she found out women on two coasts were planning a PNN 'real life' meet-up. Not only did she 'virutally appear' at these events - but she donated in some way towards each of them.

We're awarded 'coffee mugs' for interacting with each other. I mean, seriously? I can entertain myself for hours in the wit and wisdom of this community, shore up a hurting heart, share expertise and information and walk away inspired, heart-warmed and a better person for having dwelled here AND I get coffee mugs too!

Not to mention the beautiful, blue, ceramic mug we all receive 'for real' when we have left 100 comments on other people's posts. There's not a person here who has not felt moved and excited when their mug arrives. And the fact that it's supporting a Hatian women's charitable organization further speaks to the heart and spirit of the woman who has made this community possible for us all.

I subscribe to many motivational quote sites, and I received one this morning that speaks to 'virtual leadership' ~ it made me think of Leigh:

"Learning how to 'connect' with people remotely and get results from a distance is your key to virtual leadership success.' ~Debra A. Dinnocenzo

This is a real talent - I mean, some online communities have a reputation for being a bit cold, or unfriendly and sometimes - even unsafe. But not this one. And with members from literally all over the world to mingle as we do, to share so openly and caringly as we do -- creating space for all of that is certainly an accomplishment to be proud of.

But what really got me on this I Love Leigh track was the inner work I've been doing as a result of the Brene Brown Authenticity series that's being hosted here on PNN - courtesy of Leigh. It's not as easy as it sounds to take a deep breathe and plunge inside your Self when what you're bound to find may likely nudge, push or outright shove you out of your comfort zone.

And yet, I'm doing it - and I'm doing it publically ... and I'm not alone. So many of you are travelling on this journey with me, taking your own deep plunges, in your own beautiful ways ~ and I truly believe that it is because we feel safe to do so. We feel cared for here, respected, accepted, seen, valued and heard.

Which leads me to the second quote I found in my Inbox this morning. It's from M. Scott Peck:

"Paradoxically, a group of humans becomes healing and converting only after its members have learned to stop trying to heal and convert. Community is a safe place precisely because no one is attempting to heal or convert you, to fix you, to change you. Instead, the members accept you as you are. You are free to be you. And being so free, you are free to discard defenses, masks, disguises; free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health; free to become your whole and holy self.”

And while we all play a critical role in the magnificence we experience here each and every day, it would not have been possible if one woman had not had the vision, the passion, the ability and the love to create a place where we all could gather to be accepted as we are. To be free to be ourselves. To be free to discard defenses, masks, and disguises. Free to seek our own psychological and spiritual health; free to become our whole and/or holy selves - together.

Thank you Leigh. From the very, authentic essence of who I am ... thank you.

Authenticity, the chaos effect and me ...

Sally g. — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:53:17 GMT

I extend a very warm welcome, and much gratitude, to all the women who have so far chosen to participate in Brene Brown's 5 Week Authenticity Program. For many, this opportunity seems to have arisen at exactly the right time in our lives ~ and how wonderful it is that we can all share in this experience together.

I printed the Authenticity Statement that Brene generously provided via a pdf link ~ and I've been reading it a lot. For me, it eloquently and succinctly captures the reality I've discovered here in the PNN Community. So many have found their courage to be honest here and have been rewarded with an abundant flow of compassion and wholehearted connection in return.

I love that so many of Brene Brown's Ordinary Courage Blog Followers have also chosen to become PNN Community members - thus enriching the experience even more with the comforting and inspiring support we all share so freely.

And I marvel that so many of us share varying degrees of broken Self. Somewhere along our life paths, we've learned to disassociate ourselves from a niggling Truth that, if acknowledged or spoken out loud - could never be denied.

We've learned to justify and validate people or situations or behaviours in our lives as okay - or maybe we've even taken on the responsibility of shouldering the 'blame' for the upset we feel within - and yet, its presence remains deep within, untalked about, fixatedly unnoticed.

At what cost? And to what end?

For me, hearing or seeing the Truth in and of others is something I can manage with grace and relative degrees of detachment. There is really little anyone could reveal to me that would stop me dead. I am learning to BE the space for others' lives - the stressful, emotional, cluttered mess they can sometimes be - and I can do so without taking responsibility for their pain or rushing into 'fix it mode' on their behalf. To do so robs them of personal growth and denies them the opportunity to impress themselves - again, and again, and again. It has taken me a loooooong time to put this into practice - but to be here has made the journey worthwhile.

But to sit still, in the quiet, and invite my own Truth to rise up and present itself - that's another thing altogether. And I've spent considerable time wondering why.

I suspect my resistance to meeting the true barrier(s) to my own Authenticity likely lies in the Change this Truth may trigger into motion. For a Truth rendered visible from the depths of the Self can be invisible no more.

So ~ what if, through this 5 week journey - I allow myself to discover that I'm not happy, for instance? What if, after all the choices I've made, the gratitude I've expressed, the effort I've expended, the sacrifices I've made -- what if after all that, I discover I'm not happy? What then?

And like the butterfly that flaps its wings in Brazil and sets off a tornado in Texas - what if the realization of a life altering Truth from within me launches the Chaos Theory into motion; where a small or significant variation in my life produces a large variation in the long term behaviour of the system I have spent my life building and dwelling within?

Am I willing to take responsibility for that? Am I capable of taking responsibility for that? Would I ever in a million years face a Truth if it shook the lives of others I cared about?

I don't know. And I guess this, laid bare, is what I'll be striving to find out during this 5 Week Authenticity Adventure with you all. Will I ever get to a place where I hold my own happiness in as esteemed a position as I hold everybody elses.

And I'm thrilled to report that, having written that out loud, my world did not just cave in, nor did I disappear into a black hole. So, all in all, in addition to being surrounded by the most incredible women online ~ I'm also off to a hopeful start ...

Just imagine ...

Sally g. — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 00:39:40 GMT

Dear beautiful people in the PNN Community,

I've been reading a lot of posts this week, and the many comments that follow ~ and I'd like to take a moment to address something.

To a person, all of you, every single dazzling member of this online community within which we find ourselves - regardless of your present life situation and circumstance, regardless of your thoughts and feelings about yourselves at this particular moment in time, regardless of the feedback you may or may not be receiving from those who have the greatest power to lift or hurt you -- every single member of this PNN Community where we have all met and gathered .... is awesome beyond words.

You are stronger than you give yourselves credit for, you are resilient beyond words, you are Compassion in motion.

Your spheres of influence ripple far further than you know. Your support means the world. Your encouragement has changed lives.

Your worries, your fears, your insecurities, your doubts ~ in spite of them all, real or imagined, you are making significant and meaningful differences in the world around you.

Can you even imagine the power of all this wonder, harnessed and focussed, unshackled from debilitating emotions that weigh us down ~ can you even IMAGINE what impact we'd have on the planet as a whole if we were to believe in, trust in and unleash our power and love before this year is done?

I'm doing that now - on this Friday night, after reading all your blog posts and the many comments filled with support and information and love and encouragement ~ I'm imagining how we could all change the world by simply accepting and loving ourselves as we are ... and remaining committed to creating ourselves in the grandest version of the greatest vision that is within our reach.

Join me.

That's all ...

Tonight is Girl's Night Out at PNN!!

Sally g. — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:47:13 GMT

UPDATE: It's Girl's Night Out at PNN TONIGHT!!

Here is the link to the chat room, simply click on it and you'll be taken to Event Central.

Hope to see you all there!

http://pnn.com/chat_events/8-girls-night-out

*Update ends here, initial post follows ...

PNN is hosting its monthly Girl's Night Out TONIGHT at 5:30pm PT / 8:30pm EST.

(In late July, I created a post that explains what an online Girl's Night Out Event is, how it works and how awesomely welcoming and fun it always proves to be. Click here to find out more about PNN's Girl's Night Out - and keep in mind that while I've updated the contents to include this event's date and times ... the comments that follow date back to last July.)

Part of the evening is dedicated to giving away great Prizes to various PNN Community Members and the prize recipients are decided by group consensus during the event.

Our very own verby had a GREAT idea after last month's Girl's Night Out ... why doesn't PNN award a prize each month for the Most Supportive Commenter in the community?

"How brilliant", I thought. I've seen members comment that they actively read many blogs over the course of each day and they interact often via the comment threads that follow. For some, this is far more comfortable and meaningful than posting their own blogs for others to read. And for the bloggers who receive the comments and support - these contributions are appreciated more than people often know.

I ran the idea by Leigh ... who also thought it was a marvelous idea. Yay!! And she told me that a prize would be put aside at this Thursday's Girl's Night Out to be awarded to the person who we all agree served as the Most Supportive and Active Commenter this past month.

So ~let's start the conversation flowing now, shall we? Who would you like to see win Most Supportive Commenter of the Month on Thursday? Not only will you highlight valuable, contributing, compassionate women for all of us to appreciate ~ but guaranteed, you'll make that person's day! Especially if you share why you value their participation.

And feel free to nominate more than one ~ ultimately, the 'winner' for this month will be decided by consensus on Thursday night during the Girl's Night Out event. Please don't be shy to nominate - this isn't a popularity contest -- it's an appreciation and recognition for women who have touched the heart or funny bone of another ~ and a thank you to them for doing so.

I can't wait to read the comments!!

Who defines 'winning' anyway?

Sally g. — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:15:54 GMT

America's Got Talent hosted its finale last night ~ eight acts of varying degrees of magnificent talent were whittled down to five, and then - two.

Near the end of the show, two amazing individuals - with a myriad of reasons to feel proud, amazed, overwhelmed and grateful - stood on the stage awaiting America's final verdict on who would receive the $1 million prize and the headline show in Las Vegas: who would win.

I didn't see much of this season - there were too many other shows and activities competing with my interest ~ but I was familiar with the Top 8 finalists ... and with one exception, I felt they all had remarkable talent - and without exception ... they all deserved to feel the joy of pushing their dream to this point in the competition. Few of them could realistically sustain a headline show in Vegas at this point - but that's okay, because the exposure and the experience of following your heart's passion is a prize in and of itself.

As I watched the closing moments of the show, in the nerve-wracking silence injected between the host's saying, "And the winner of the $1 million prize and the headline act in Last Vegas is" and the point where he FINALLY announces that person's name ... I was struck by a feeling I had while watching Dancing with the Stars last season and also while watching the last season of American Idol.

And that feeling was this: This award is not necessarily going to be gifted to the person with the greatest talent, but to the person who needs it most right now. And this got me to thinking, who defines 'winning' anyway? And how often do I 'win' from my own perspective while a more common definition of the term sees me come in 2nd, or 5th, or even a distant last?

I guess, for me, the answer can partly be found in the motivation that pushed me to participate in the event in the first place. For instance, a few months ago, I participated in PNN's Writing Contest. I wasn't going to, never once did I feel I would win -- and that's not based on an unawareness of my own talent ... I just knew, and still know, that I do not have the inner drive and passion to 'get the words out of my system' that many of my fellow PNN community members have.

Words flow from me when I feel I have something to share ~ and I am consistently awed and inspired by all of you who can envision entire stories, create outlines, birth characters and invest your lives in the creation of an intimate part of yourself for the benefit of all who read your work.

But I did enter the contest - and I did so to try on different aspects of writing - to see if maybe I had hidden ability that was lying dormant. And to see if a passion would swell up from within once the attempt was made to try. I was also very interested in receiving feedback on the learning I was initiating and who better to do that than other writers?

I did not win, nor did I deserve to - because the submissions I made did not flow easily from me, the whole practice felt stilted and unnatural to me and I was able to confirm that I'm not a Writer in the same league as so many of you ... which then lifted my gratitude and appreciation for dwelling amongst you all that much higher, and who thought THAT would have been possible? In that respect, I did win. Though the number attached to me was 4th.

I have a whole lifetime of similar stories and experiences that support my general feeling that there is a danger in allowing someone else to define the word 'winner' for me. Because in so doing - I am also handing over the controls to a whole swath of other feelings and emotions that should be in no one's control but my own.

Deep inside, I know when I've done my best - and I know when I've hung back or dimmed myself down. I know when the learning the exercise contained has been far greater than the prize that was ultimately awarded -- and I know that regardless of outcome, I will never be the same again for having engaged in the process in the first place ... and what I choose to do with that, is completely up to me.

Susan Boyle performed last night before the winner was announced. Susan Boyle, the phenom that swept the Internet in hours after her first performance on Britain's Got Talent earlier this year. Susan Boyle who came in 2nd. Or did she?

Second place allowed her to check into a hospital and rest. It allowed her time and space to clarify perspective. And it allowed her the balance, the strength and the focus to emerge healthier and wiser - going on to create a cd that will be released in plenty of time for the Christmas buying season.

Achieving 1st place is remarkable and fulfilling. It can also be an exercise in finding your courage and allowing yourself to break free of limitations and expectations others put upon you as a result of your 'win'. And it can also call up every fear, doubt and insecurity you have about being successful and deserving of all you've accomplished, and all you have yet to do.

The winner of PNN's Writing Contest is a winner in all dazzling aspects of the word. She's on the brink of a life change that the Universe is holding in safe keeping until she's fully ready to receive it. And so it is with all our greatest dreams. They're out there, waiting to show up - when we're truly ready to receive them, accept them, embrace them and live them.

There will always be contests, competitions, processes and life situations where measures and people will be put in place to determine who wins. But at the end of the day, the only person really qualified to decide whether or not you are a winner - is you.

Feel peace ...

I believe in you ...

Sally g. — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:26:44 GMT

This is a funny time - funny as in 'strange', though laughing is good too.

It seems there are varying manifestations of pain at every turn. People are feeling stuck, or trapped, or lost, or torn, or heavy, or confused, or helpless -- even, hopeless.

I've felt it too ~ which is why I haven't posted in awhile ... I did not feel I had anything to say. I'm still not sure I have any particular wisdom to pass on at this time - but I feel a real need to connect, because there is healing in discovering that you are not alone - that your discomfort or unease or fragment is being experienced by others too ~ it's almost, empowering.

So, from my heart - I tell you this: whatever you're going through right now, wherever you find yourself today and perhaps even tomorrow and the day after that, whatever feelings threaten to overwhelm you and whatever pain you are enduring ~ you are not alone.

This community where we have all somehow found each other is safe. We can be ourselves, we can rant, we can entertain, we can inform ... and we can also grow and share and heal.

Our relative anonymity supports our ability to render ourselves vulnerable - it makes taking the risk of slowly revealing who we are, deep inside, often invisible but always powerful; powerful beyond measure, more powerful than we often allow ourselves to know ... it makes the risk of discovering and revealing all this, safe to do.

Sometimes we are strong and able to change the course of someone's day (or life) with our compassion and our words. And sometimes, just getting through the day takes every ounce of energy we have.

Wherever you find yourself on the spectrum today -- please go into this weekend knowing that here, if nowhere else - at least here, you are valued, you are worthy, you are appreciated, you are deserving of vibrant shiny health, you are respected and you are loved.

And somewhere in this amazing PNN community - you will find somebody who will leave beautiful words in your comment box, something to the effect of: "I will hold you up, I will help you stand,
I will comfort you when you need a friend - I will be the voice thats calling ... I believe in you".

Or maybe, you'll be the one leaving those words for another.

Blessings to all ... may your weekend be filled with light and kindness ...