Dear nagging little voice inside my head,

Dear nagging, little voice inside my head,

This letter to you is long overdue.

I'm not exactly sure when you chose me as the vessel in which to build your soap box, dedicating your time in a running monologue intended to ensure I don't do anything 'wrong', or 'stupid', or 'out of character'.

I'm not even sure whose 'character' you have decided I must play in this fear-fraught, long-running, drama that you're directing as my life.

More importantly though - why has it not occurred to me until now to even engage with you, to let you know that while you might have served a valid purpose at one time - you no longer do?

You see, your beliefs are out-dated. I'm not entirely sure which version of my Self you have me locked into ~ I've changed lots over the 4.5 decades of my life; I've learned a few things. And in so doing, I now respectfully ask you to relinquish all power and report directly to my inner wisdom as there is more constructive uses for your abilities.

I've learned that risk-taking, in and of itself, is not a scary thing - it is actually a dynamic spark that ignites the moment I'm willing to step outside of my comfort zone and challenge the next aspect of my development to step forth and lift me to greater heights.

Risk-taking without Awareness, without Honesty and without Responsibility - well, that does push risk-taking into the realm of scary. But I don't do that. So, I'm now officially a risk-taker - when it suits me.

I've learned that not having all the answers right away is not a sign of mental impairment. There is nothing wrong with not knowing something - in fact, as crazy as this sounds -- I'm quite excited about finally saying out loud, "I know so little - but what I do know, I know well ~ and what I don't know, I'm capable enough and resourceful enough to find out".

Honestly, ingenuity gaps abound - who DOES know everything? And if I stopped still at knowing the everything that I know ... at which point in my life history would I be rooted as the world passed me by at rapid speed, decreasing my significance with each spin? (Well, it would likely be the 70's if my musical preference is any clue - but that's besides the point. It was actually a rhetorical question.)

I've learned that, when parts of my true Self slipped out - like when I didn't know someone was looking, or spontaneously before thought kicked in - people liked me anyway. In fact, they seemed to like me more ... because it gave them a glimpse into the human being that glowed beneath the carefully constructed surface - you know, that crafted veneer you helped me keep in place with your nagging little reminders in your nagging little voice.

I could go on, but really, what would be the point? When something is over, it's simply over - and debate is non-productive.

I walk with Awareness now - I've been doing so for some time, and I've gotten to the point that I can feel your voice about to speak before you actually do. If I'm capable of that, then I'm capable of ignoring you all together. But that would be rude. And in spite of your many words to the contrary - nothing I have ever said has been motivated by a desire to be rude.

I remain Honest with my Self - and this time, I'm doing it with clear vision, without filters or distortions from the past, but with updated information and awareness. Which means, I no longer have to respond to situations in the way I did before I knew what I know now ... I can choose to respond with all the Power I hold within me, in the moment the experience takes place. Tough concept to wrap your head around, I know -- that rearview mirror is limited in its ability to help you drive my life.

You had to have seen this coming. Every moment of every day that I strengthened mindful, present, awareness living ~ your voice diminished in kind. I see a place for you in my future though - having an inner alarm bell that senses danger from a pure place unpolluted by irrational fear is critical to survival. Letting me know that something just doesn't feel right about a person or venture I'm about to engage with would serve us both rather well.

The job is yours if you're interested. I hope you are - we've been together so long, it would be nice to partner in a more positive way. And I'm someone that's quite fun to be around, on a good day - and best to leave on my own on a not-so-good day, but they are becoming fewer and farther between ... and my efficiency rate is accelerating in the areas of bounce-back and recovery.

Your purpose as it once existed, for me, is done. Thank you for the lessons I could only have learned from your presence in my life - and may your next career as my inner-alarm bell be a rousing, though seldom needed, success.

Namaste ...